Bond is Bourne Again!!!

I am one of the biggest James Bond fans around. I loved Sean Connery! I grew up with Roger Moore... I even kept my lunch down as he made love to Tanya Roberts and Grace Jones... although it was more like watching my grandfather ... oh well never mind.... too sick to bring up. I loved Timothy Dalton, the "The Living Daylights" was a slick and entertaining bond even with A-ha warbling that ridiculous theme song which you can tell was penned by someone who barely understand English (I swore the song is more about a car's headlights than Bond.. headlights...daylights 'what do you mean they're not same?)! Anyway, loved Pierce too!

So when I had a chance to see the new Bond "Quantum of Solace" in France last week, two weeks before it came out in the U.S. I jumped at it! So how was it! Well first of all, before you go see the movie watch "Casino Royal" again. The movie starts at the end of the last movie and there is little exposition in reestablishing the characters and major plot points of the last film.

Now about the movie itself and the latest bond, Daniel Craig. The movie is fast, frenetic and fun. The style is similar to the Matt Damon "Bourne" series with fast cutting, quick camera movement and lots of "now what just happened moments." While there were points I feel story and plot were sacrificed for action, I didn't care. The action sequences are by far some of the best in any Bond movie I've seen. I was totally entertained!

Craig once again is brooding and dark Bond. But he's probably the most realistic Bond and according to fans of the novels, the closest to Ian Fleming's 007. I also have to say, after seeing Craig once again take off his shirt a few times in the film, I'm putting down my PopTart and running to the gym. He's over 40 and doesn't have an ounce of fat on him! A lean mean spying machine. I feel sorry for all my peers who let their wives see this one with them only to have their popcorn pulled from their paws. So.... in all "Quantum of Solace" is not your fathers Bond but it's well worth the price of a ticket, fun and riveting from beginning to end.

OH if I could turn back time.. I'd do something about the market where overpriced things actually sold!

Do you believe... She wants $45 million for her Malibu mansion??!

O.K., not much going on with me that I really feel people would actually read so I thought I'd make today a fun blogging day. GOSSIP! So according to the Wall Street Journal last Friday, Cher has quietly listed her Malibu mansion for $45... even though according to one source it didn't sell last year at $25 million. It's a pocket listing according to one LA blogger... what that means is the agent isn't advertising... smart move.. hmmm?. It sounds like she played with too much plutonium when she was filming "Silkwood". But hey, there are suckers out there... just remember... Hollywood bosses are still paying Madonna to act!

Speaking of which... the super glamorous crowd (see photo left) of Madonna... Gwyneth... and artist Steven Klein are all hanging in the Hamptons this weekend. Aren't we lucky!!!!?! They're coming to town to lend a helping hand with a great cause... The Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue. Tickets are about $500 to $2500. Anyway, here are my suggestions for the silent auction.... this will raise TONS! Bids will start at $10,000 for Madonna to agree not to make "Swept Away 2, Who's that Girl Again or Evita Strikes Back." $4000 and Gwyneth will actually do an interview with Kathy Griffin and explain how her role in "Shallow Hal" changed her life. Finally artist Steven Klein will explain why his art is worth so much money.... bids will start at $5. If you wanna roll in the hay... with these celebs... visit the rescue's website. http://www.forrascal.com/

Finally... a little gossip about the Jonas brothers. WHO ARE THEY?! Tony Roma (I think he's a golfer or something) is apparently still dating Jessica Simpson and... oh forget it... who cares!

Now I know how Brangelina feels!!
Welcome to the Hamptons... I've always loved the summers here for two reasons; 1-I can actually enjoy my backyard and pool 2-I get to see people from the city and out of town who I don't know!!! I grew up in a suburb where my next door neighbor was my best friend Michael Lieberman and the neighbors on the other side... I had NO CLUE WHO THEY WERE. Steven Garber lived across the street and around the corner the Gambinos who we didn't know at all (although we didn't talk to them for an entirely different set of reasons and it involves hanging with sea creatures!). After that I moved to Washington D.C. for college and after that Manhattan. I'm a little like Garbo, I want to be left alone.

Anyway, I have a friend who recently broke up with their other half and of course... strangers from far and wide have been giving her comfort. The UPS guy, the town secretary and even the entire 3rd grade class from Sag Harbor Elementary have weighed in. Now how did this happen? This is summer! Doesn't anyone have something better to talk about ... like... Christie Brinkley and Peter Cooke... or Madonna's marital woes and hanging in Amagansett with Apple and Gwynnie?!?

It's weird this year. I recently went to the opening day of Polo and my friend who had my ticket/bracelet went MIA. I was hanging by the gate with a glass of champagne that a more respectable friend quickly threw in my hand so I didn't look so pathetic. I can just hear the onlookers, "How pathetic trying to crash but at least he has a glass of something!" Even though I pulled my baseball cap far over my face... I WAS SPOTTED. A friend soon text messaged me saying, "I heard you can't get into polo.... dinner later?" Oh the shame! I haven't been this embarrassed since I was spotted buying sweaters at TJ Maxx! Although I feel better since I spotted Kelsey Grammer and his wife there (I guess those Frasier re-runs don't pay as well as you think).

Anyway, in conclusion... If you want a private life... don't live in the Hamptons and don't become a celebrity. And especially don't become a celebrity and move to the Hamptons... otherwise you'll have some jerk writing on their blog about your marriage or where you shop!

And another thing... 50 year old woman should not wear pig tails. IT'S JUST WRONG FOR SO MANY REASONS!

WELCOME TO THE HAMPTONS... IS THAT A RADAR GUN OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE US?!?!?!

Not since those evil spirits in Poltergeist told that little girl from "Happy Days" to "GET OUT!" has there been such a loud and unwelcoming message to new residents! Yes that super large, super obnoxious and yes super ugly sign (what there are no good looking officers in Suffolk County?) that threatens and welcomes visitors to the east end all in one big glorious message. Now while I do agree that people need to drive more cautiously on the overcrowded roads but wouldn't a simple "OBEY THE SPEED LIMIT" sign have sufficed?

When I first saw what I'm now calling MOUNT RUSH-LESS, I freaked ! I've spent a lot of time in LA and when you see someone holding a shooting position with what looks like a gun... you don't slow down... YOU DUCK AND COVER! My apologies to the gentleman in the new BMW convertible... I didn't mean to side swipe you but I was kind of feeling like Bambi's mother there for a second.

With all of the regulations in the Hamptons... from architectural review boards to super stringent zoning... HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY ALLOW THIS SIGN!??? And I'm curious, is it really doing anything to slow down drivers? Just asking.

Boo it's back to the car... and hurry before we get a ticket!!!

(a picture of Boo running to the car before we get ANOTHER ticket)

As if I needed another lesson about the dangers of procrastination... yes the village of East Hampton is now officially out of parking passes. So what does that mean??? Well, during the week I can either bike to the beach or walk... It's as horrible as it sounds! Not only that.... when I take my beloved Boo to the beach on Saturday mornings, we will have to get our act together and get out of the parking lot by 9 before those belligerent brownies give me another gorgeous orange little souvenir. OOOPS... I didn't meant to say belligerent.. in fact... I'm not even sure how to spell it. I meant BEAUTIFUL. Which rhymes with thoughtful.

Speaking of thoughtful Brownies... not those nasty ones who sell the fat laden Samoas and Tag Alongs... the ones that will soon be busted by the FDA because they lace them with some sort of addictive additive... but the ones that write the tickets. I give them credit for actually smiling and being so pleasant about their duties. The ones in Sag Harbor are especially wonderful. Oh those kids, They're the best! They keep our streets more orderly and safer and just make the Hamptons experience so much better. The one's in East Hampton... they're fabulous too! Ok, now will you guys rip them up? Hey, I have a box of Samoas you can have if you tear that puppy up?!?

A TALE AS OLD AS TIME.... BEAUTY AND THE BEAST!

(beauty above)

So a few friends of mine have actually been reading my blog .... and now I have to be more consistent. So forgive me right now... I'm not being very original but I'm writing about someone else's blog. LAME! I know.

Anyway, in real estate more and more people are beginning their searches on the web. Recent stats say that it's about 85% of home buyers begin their search on the web. One way, many brokers expose their properties to the public and other brokers is by putting them on MLS.COM. (multiple listing service) Now... On to my point. So with the simple fact that these photographs are viewed by so many... you would think that brokers would at least choose their photos wisely OR as I do... HIRE A PROFESSIONAL TO TAKE THE PICTURE. Well guess what there are a lot of lazy agents out there and that laziness has inspired a Connecticut agent to start a web site ( http://www.reagentinct.com/blog/) of BAD MLS PICTURES. The web site has caught on agents from all over the country have been sending in some really really bad pictures. Anyway, check out the blog above and here are a few of my personal favorites. GAIL I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE!

This one was titled... that sinking feeling! I'm the king of the world! My heart will go on.. but the glass will be falling off the table!


Next on the hit parade... GIANT HEAD! "Mom, I'm' afraid!!! There's a giant head floating in the backyard... it might eat me!!"
Ok.... I know everyone likes having their picture taken... But is this really flattering to ANYONE?!
Finally..... THIS PICTURE NEEDS NO CAPTION!!!

Just in time for bathing suit season.... NOT!
Mangia! It's the annual Hampton's RESTAURANT WEEK!

So much for that spring diet, starting this Sunday and running til the following some of the best restaurants in the Hamptons are offering 3 course meals for only $21.95! OK, they are cutting it short on Saturday of next week but if you get in before 7pm... it's part of the prix fixe! There will also be discounts on wines at some restaurants and lodging too!

If you want more details go to :

http://www.hamptonsrestaurantweek.com/


Some of the restaurants I know that are participating are Nick and Toni's, Della Famina, Almond, Almoncello, Pierre's and Bamboo.

If you want to venture to the North Fork, I suggest going to the Jedidiah Hawkin's Inn. It's cozy decor, amazing service and great food make it virtually impossible to get into during the summer. Located on South Jamesport Avenue in Jamesport, it's about 40 minutes away from East Hampton but chef Thomas G. Schaudel makes it oohhhh sooo worth the trip. The inn is an 1860's Victorian Mansion that was saved from a wrecking ball in 2004 and restored to something truly remarkable.